YAN IS SUCH AN ASS!!!

He said," As I sat there for an hour catching a few glimpses of you made me even realise how much I miss you and have greater regret that I lost you."

She said," Love the heart that hurts you(dats wat she did). But never hurt the heart that loves you(dat I wish I shld’nt have done).

Now that there’s nothing left to live for in this world. I’m goin to skill up my riding skills to compete in Japan. So here comes hellish riding from me. Pray for my safety k. Oh my I look like shit with those teary eyes.

Today’s horoscope by friendster–>Someone you care about will throw a wrench into your plans for today, and you will have to do your best to avoid getting angry about not getting what you want. Work with them to solve their problem, and not only will you be seen as a helpful and kind person, you will help remove that old wrench and get things back on track. See — sometimes being selfless and helping someone else enables you to actually help yourself! That’s what you call a real win-win situation.

Today is such not a good day. I did’nt expect my enemy to be my friend and we both actually work together to fight against for what we have been fighting for all this while.Maybe I tell you the story some other time.

Feels so shity now. I hate liars. For those who knew me, I would rather swallow the painful truth than listening to lies. The pain to listen to lies is so unbearable. Even worse when you know that its a lie.

I have no idea of what to do now. I know I just cant do nothing and sink deeper into depression. Oh my God! I’m depressed! Finally I get to feel like a human.

I want to train up my skills in riding a motorcycle. I want to compete in Japan!!!

My life has always been making big mistakes. Foreva making wrong decisions & even if I did made a reasonably gud one I stil screwed it up in da end.

Making 2 consecutive mistakes wont make da end result positive. Its nt like maths(-3 x -6 = 18). Instead it will sink u deeper in shit. Wen shit has already enter my thick skull to reach my non-functionin brain, its damn too late to retrace my steps. Its juz too late to save da spilled & stale milk.

Wat was I tinkin? Caught in btwn veggie & chicken. I knew veggie is gud for me but I was tempted for da great taste of chicken. Veggie is sumthin wat my brains needs but chicken is juz sumthin my heart wants.

Sum pple say Never ever regret the decisions you make in life because what & where you are right now is the consequence of that decision. It could have been worst.Well i tink dats bullshit. Only egoistic bastards will say dat cos they r too proud to admit or even realise their mistakes.

So now dat I shit in my own pants, I nid to clear my own shit. Definitely da pants will no longer be da same again. Da smell wil be different & der wil always be sum stained. For once I beg u God to make tis One Time Right.

God Bless Me.

      Please understand I need more time to settle stuffs. Im not giving excuses. I might be avoiding but it’s good for us. It seems I am selfish but I had to do it. I dun wish to hurt anyone but I am healing rite nw. If I dun heal, things will go terriblely wrong. The side effects are already showing. I need to reopen my heart but for nw it needs to be close. It is nice of you to try to stand by me at tis bad times of mine but remember Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus & I’m frm sumwhre else. We deal things differently. Wat might werk for u might not werk for me. All I ask for is ur understanding n I promise to make things rite wen the time is rite. Question is…When issit the RITE time? I always think there will never be a rite time unless I make it rite but sources said now is not a gud time cuz i need to heal again before I move on. I thot I did but I did not. With who? I dunno…So I gues I am a bit heal but slightly off course. But I can be sure of one thing. I am definitely a better person now with/without you. Cos if ur the one…you deserve the best of me. This I promise you….

Bukit: Lincah kasi aku balik buku Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus: Starting Over kite trade lagi satu buku.

      Yes…its that time of year. Whre I tink abt life n wat I want in life. Its the time of year whre I brk my heart into pieces to hav a new stronger one…wait a minute..I dun hav a heart. OK its time of the year to reset my factory settings since I am inhumane.

Whre do I start? Oh my bestfren or ‘members’ or blood brother or gay partner or wateva our relations is…juz got ‘prreett’. So he is on the road of recovery. Bro, forget the bitch n move on to indie, punk rock, drum & bass or wateva as long u dun resort to ’songs for the broken heart’ & 2 for $7.95 items…I feel ur pain rmbr..

As for me…we juz parted n go our separate ways..aft bein together for one and a half year…we finally gave up on each other..its was partly my fault to be unfaithful at times but ur oso to blame wen ur nt der for me wen I nided sum1 da most..I dun noe whether I can move on. I noe I hurt u too badly dat u almost ended ur own life. I noe I was wrong but it din hav to end tis way. I din mean to dump u behind ITE Macpherson dat day cuz I din expect things to turn tis way. I wish we could patch things up but its gonna be very costly. Eventhough I luv n miz u so much eventually I hav to let u go…Hornie 250 ur irreplaceable..yeah rite ;-P

Refering to last para…to those who dun understand wats goin on..wat i’m tryin say is dat…now I’m no longer riding my Hornet 250..currently my bike is in a werkshop behind ITE Macpherson. Wats gonna happen to him? I noe his fate is in my hands..but I decide to end his life n scrap it..If i wanna overhaul it…Its gonna cost me 2k n I dun tink its worth it…I rather lay up da bike n continue the instalments for 2 years…But damn seriously I reali miz riding badly…

I’m not sure whether I miz riding, I’m sick n not feeling well, or too much sleep dat I feel lethagic or been locking myself at home for too long…Ders sumthin wrong wif me. Dat is causing me to realisation. I cant sleep at nite. My body is here but my mind, soul n heart is sumwhre else.. Issit caused by sumthing or even worse sumone? Damn I reali nid to ride again to clear my head. Maybe I shld steal my bro’s ride or borrow sumone’s ride..Oh no, I’m bein unfaithful to Hornie again…(Hornie is my bike’s nickname)…Oh yah hav been spendin 2 nites till mornin at east coast wif Bukit…Bukit, all those trash talks make my spirit high but wen its cums to da situation I reali can crumble to pieces…

Amidala, Bukit…we noe da rest dunno so u noe wat to do…I’m gettin too many positive & negative ions dat my head is abt to explode…(fyi I’m havin migrane nw)..I dun wish to end up like Sylar..I gotta hav control juz like Peter…

I’m no longer Stealth nor Arai…..I’m retired. Or maybe hibernate I promise a cumbck ok pple..

Juz Me…Suffiyan

For 18 Months You Have Been Stabbing My Back. Now I’m Left With 2 Months Don’t You Want To Take Your Knife Back? How About I Stab Your Daughter For A Change?

Wat made me say dat? Its frm da anger of being abused & betrayed. I have been patiently silent for 4 days now eversince the truth has been layed out in front of me. I betta gt off da road nowadays cuz I’m nt in da best condition rite nw.

I can feel it brewing inside. I have 2 choices. Let it out n let all hell brk loose or juz lay dwn n quietly let it die out peacefully. Temptations to do option one is very strong n moreover I will be bck to square one. Da old ruthless Yan. Y waste da effort of changing for da betta? If tis is life so be it…

Stealth Slyar

Hello all…due to A overwhelming repond. I wil update my long dead friendster n blog…

1st of all Selamat Hari Raya to all my Muslim frens…

2nd of all I seek ur forgiveness if I hav offended u in any way in da past..

3rdly if u tink Hari Raya is da only time to forgive n forget den I cant wait for it to be over to piss evryone again..

Lastly…A warning to all…dun cross my path..I’m deadlier den b4..I promise u my words do kill..

Yours truly,

Heartless Bazted

Birds of a feather flock together,

Birds of a species have da same disease.

(",) Nuthing to say but a big smile says it all.

Menunggumu by Peterpan featuring Chrisye

Di dalam sebuah cinta
Terdapat bahasa
Yang mengalun indah
Mengisi jiwa

Merindukan kisah
Kita berdua
Yang tak pernah bisa
Akan terlupa

Bila rindu ini masih milikmu
Kuhadirkan sebuah tanya untukmu
Harus berapa lama aku menunggumu
Aku menunggumu

Di dalam masa indah
Saat bersamamu
Yang tak pernah bisa
Akan terlupa
Pandangan matanya

Menghancurkan jiwa
Dengan segenap cinta
Aku bertanya

Bila rindu ini masih milikmu
Kuhadirkan sebuah tanya untukmu
Harus berapa lama aku menunggumu

Aku menunggumu…
Aku menunggumu…

Dalam hati ku menunggu
Dalam hati ku menunggu

Aku…

Dalam lelah ku menunggu
Dalam letih ku menunggu

Aku…Masih menunggu

Bila rindu ini masih milikmu
Kuhadirkan sebuah…
Harus berapa lama,
harus berapa lama

Aku menunggumu,
aku menunggumu

Aku menunggu…
aku menunggumu

Dalam hati ku menunggu
Dalam lelah ku menunggu
Dalam hati ku menunggu
Dalam letih ku menunggu
Dalam hati ku menunggu

This song is not only related to someone but also to some other things so don’t flatter yourself…

      I have a lot to say…but I juz cant find da rite pple or da medium to do so..Da longer I keep it inside my heart da deeper da impact it is suckin da life out of me…

I Love You Not Because of Who You Are, But Because of Who I Am When I Am With You—> luv blinded me frm da real terrible u..but I was da happiest person wen we were frens…

No Man Or Woman Is Worth Your Tears, And The One Who Is Won’t Make You Cry.—>Did’nt noe y da water werks in Jurong suddenly had an outburst da other day…

A True Friend Is Someone Who Reaches For Your Hand And Touches Your Heart.—> my definition of a true fren is…sumone who is heartless who reaches out his/her hand den smack u in da head…hahahaha…dat is so me….dat is wat I badly nided rite nw…

The Worst Way To Miss Someone Is To Be Sitting Alone By Yourself Knowing You Can’t Have Them—>aiyoh..da line "But it’s time to face the truth, I will never be with you.." frm James Blunt’s You’re Beautiful keep ringin inside my head…dats even worst…

Never Frown, Even When You Are Sad, Because You Never Know Who Is Falling In Love With Your Smile—> I felt in luv wif dat smile…nw dat smile is gone n wats left are only memories of it.. =-<

Don’t Waste Your Time On A Man/Woman, Who Isn’t Willing To Waste Their Time On You—>time is abdundant..I hav a lifetime to wait…but Death Awaits me..

Maybe God Wants Us To Meet A Few Wrong People Before Meeting The Right One, So That When We Finally Meet The Person We Will Know How To BE Grateful—> ok I hav done it emotionally so dun u tink its time I practise it?

Don’t Cry Because It Is Over, Smile Because It Happened.—> no regrets mitin her..wat r da chances for us to mit in tis lifetime..I smiled da widest wen I see her..y shld I cry wen I tink of my happy moments???

There’s Always Going To Be People That Hurt You So What You Have To Do Is Keep On Trusting And Just Be More Careful About Who You Trust Next Time Around.—>those who did’nt kill me juz made me stronger..but da problem is I dun trust me…

Make Yourself A Better Person And Know Who You Are Before You Try And Know Someone Else And Expect Them To Know You.—> lesson learnt nvr knew dat my strongest point can actually be my weakest point in others point of view..

Finally Its Out Of My Heart…